A

The Fear of Making
Others Angry or Upset

When this fear is primary in your business and in your life, you are scared that anything you do or say will cause others to get upset or angry at you, raise their voice at you, say “mean” things that will hurt you, act resentful, lose their temper or abandon you out of anger.

The internal dialogue that accompanies The Fear of Making Others
Angry can sound like:

“If I write about what I really want to write about, people will get upset”

“He came 10 minutes late to his session, but he’ll never come back again if I don’t give
him that extra 10 minutes.”

“If I share that observation with my client, she’ll get angry.”

“I’m so glad she’s a new client. She didn’t actually sign her contract, which I require before
our first session, but I don’t want to rock the boat by asking her again to sign it”

“If I tell her I can’t re-schedule last minute, she’ll stop working with me.”

“I’m scared to lead groups because what if someone in the group gets upset with
me…and then it all falls apart.”

Expression, Obstacles & Origins

Your decisions, actions and relationships are often led this deep core
fear. The fear can control your actions, even though you know better,
and here are some things that may result:



You don’t set your rates high enough out of fear that others will get angry at them



You tend to over-give to your clients in a way that depletes you



You don’t set strong boundaries with clients, team members or partners and then
feel like you are being taken advantage of



You open up your schedule for clients to schedule whenever is convenient to them, even though it might be a very inconvenient time for you



You hold on to draining, non-aligned clients much longer than you should out of
fear of hurting their feelings



You have trouble reflecting hard truths to clients & workshop participants when it requires you to point out their blindspots or weaknesses



You tend to take over-responsibility for clients and others



You’re scared of asking your spouse to come home early on Wednesdays to help
out with the kids



You choose less innovative and edgy exercises to present at retreats from fear that participants will be triggered or unsatisfied



You go into fear when your clients show up with Resistance

People who carry this fear with them often had close ones who expressed their anger in not-so-aligned or helpful ways. Sometimes, people who carry the fear of making others angry had close ones who were so scared or embarrassed of their own anger that they suppressed it and taught you that it’s not healthy or proper or “lady like” to express anger. For others who carry this fear, their close one modelled being scared of other people’s anger. No matter which of these you experienced, the core underlying message to you was to avoid other people’s anger…to reject your own anger, and to do whatever it takes to avoid anger at all costs.

In general, in society, we aren’t taught how to properly navigate or express anger. We’re not taught that anger is a natural human emotion that allows us to set aligned boundaries, and instead we’re taught in subtle or not so subtle ways to ignore anger or avoid anger by not setting boundaries, by not making requests to get our needs met, by over-accommodating others, and by covering up our own anger by over-giving.

Your Hidden Core Energetic:

THE WARRIOR WOMAN

When the Fear of Making Others Angry is present in your life or business, the Core Energetic you hold inside of you is the Warrior Woman.

The Warrior Woman is the one who knows how to set healthy boundaries. She is loving yet also firm – she knows that her time and energy and SELF are valuable, and she is willing to stand up for herself no matter what. She understands that her needs are just as important as everyone else’s. The Warrior Woman makes decisions based on what is aligned for herself and everyone else, without being swayed by fear of how others will react or respond to her. She is strong and she is not scared by her anger or anyone else’s. She asks for what she needs and is committed to getting her needs met with
love and caring.

Warrior Woman’s Highest Expression:



You give fully from your heart without over-giving



You work only as many hours as you wish

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You gracefully and lovingly reveal your clients’ blindspots and weaknesses



You ease-fully support clients to take responsibility for their results



You know exactly how to guide a client or workshop participant if they are acting
inappropriately

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You confidently charge your worth without wavering when you name the price

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If clients show up with anger, you navigate it with love and skill

Suggested Actions to Reach Your Highest Expression:

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Make a list of all the places with clients & others you are taking over-responsibility
and then the boundaries you would like to institute in your business

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When facilitating groups, pay special attention to creating tight containers and knowing how to work with the Shadow (these are some of the skills I teach in the Master Ritual & Facilitation Training)

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Let go of any clients who you know in your heart don’t respect your boundaries

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Create an ideal schedule and stick to it

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Write an Angry letter to an individual that has crossed a boundary.

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Be as angry as you can; use curse words if need be.

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Don’t send the letter, but use the writing as an outlet to release the anger.

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Anytime you notice you are resisting holding or honoring a boundary, write down: will not be alone if I set X boundary”

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Practice Warrior 1 and Warrior 2 Yoga Poses

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Tune into Sacred Depths Coach Training modules on Reflecting the Truth, Created Aligned Client Protocols and Boundaries, Navigating Resistance Archetypes, & Breakthrough Questioning Skills

Lauren’s Warrior Woman Triumph Story

When Lauren first began the Sacred Depths Coach Training, her schedule was out of control. She was working 60 hour weeks, travelling all over NYC from client to client – scared to let her clients know that she wanted them to travel to her studio downtown, scared to keep to her 60 minutes pilates sessions (she would almost always end up giving 70 minutes or more), and scared to let clients know when they weren’t practicing enough on their own. She was exhausted, overwhelmed, and secretly pissed off at her clients. Together, we activated her Warrior Woman, and within a month, she had raised her rates, kept the boundary on 60-minute sessions, moved all her clients to one location, and supported clients in getting MUCH better results by holding them accountable to their home practice. This opened up time for her to take on more clients. Her Warrior Woman helped her increase her income by 50% and create more personal time for herself.

Meet Your

Mentor & Guide

Joanna Lindenbaum has coached & trained thousands around the world for 20 years. She is a powerhouse of human psyche insight, grounded intuition, and transformational techniques, which she generously shares with her students.

Joanna is the founder of the Applied Depth Practitioner Institute and the creator of the Sacred Depths Transformational Practitioner Training. She values integrity, being trauma-informed, and authenticity, and this shines through in all her work.

Because of the depth, quality, caring and extraordinary skills that Joanna brings to her work, her business runs mainly through happy clients that re-sign with her over and over again, and the referrals they send to her.

Still have questions?

You can speak with a member of Joanna’s team! Click the button below to schedule a time:

Schedule a Call

Or send us an email at info@applieddepthinstitute.com

The Core Energetics Assessment – Result A

A

The Fear of Making Others Angry or Upset