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The Fear of Surpassing
Loved Ones

When the Fear of Surpassing Loved Ones is present in your life and business, you walk around with the conscious – or not so conscious – belief that if you succeed you will be hurting those you love or disconnected from those you love. When this fear is in control, it can literally feel like certain loved ones might leave you, reject you, oreven die if you were to become happier, richer, healthier or more successful than them.

The internal dialogue that accompanies the Fear of Surpassing a Loved one can sound like:

“If I am fully healthy & happy, my parents won’t be able to relate to me anymore.”

“If my business provides abundance for me, my sister or clients will become jealous.”

“If my work becomes highly visible, I won’t fit in to the family code of victimhood and rejection anymore. I’ll be all alone.”

“If I raise my rates, then my beloved long-term clients will think I’ve abandoned them or left them behind.”

“How can I be happy and thriving when my sister is in such a bad situation?”

“If you’re not OK, then I can’t be OK.”

Expression, Obstacles & Origins

Your decisions, actions and relationships are often led this deep core fear. The fear can control your actions, even though you know better, and here are some things that may result:

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You keep the lid on your business and don’t really allow yourself to fill your practice

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You somehow can’t seem to surpass your mother’s or father’s highest income figure

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You carry the same or similar physical illness as a loved one

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You carry the same or similar major anxiety or block as a loved one

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You have an intuitive sense that you are too attached to your clients’ success or failure

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You become excessively upset if clients experience a big loss or bad news

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You have trouble helping clients see and embrace their wins and forward movement

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You find yourself sabotaging big moments and opportunities in your business–speaking engagements, enrollment and sales conversations, major marketing moments

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You know in your heart that you are keeping yourself small

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When wins or successes happen, you find yourself hiding it from loved ones or clients

The Fear of Surpassing Loved Ones almost always involves a family member or close ally who has fallen into Victim mentality. This Loved One is prone to inducing guilt in you and wanting you to join him or her in their victimhood and pity party. Perhaps this loved one has become ill or lost their job at the exact moment that something wonderful happened in your life. This loved one also requires intense loyalty from you. It can almost feel as if you will be breaking and betraying a sacred family code if you become happy, healthy or successful.

You tend to have two personas: a “public” and “private” one. Your private personality is known by your family and is often more downtrodden and negative, whereas your public personality is luminescent and positive and actually much more authentic to
who you really are.

The Fear of Surpassing Loved Ones is one of the trickiest fears work with: to break through it you must learn that LOVING someone doesn’t mean you’re sentenced to have a similar life to them. You must also learn that just because you LOVE someone doesn’t mean your relationship can only be based on mutual misery or failure.

Your Hidden Core Energetic:

THE PRIESTESS

When the Fear of Surpassing a Loved One is present in your life or business, the Core Energetic you hold inside of you is the Priestess.

The Priestess is the one who knows her instructions for living and her sacred goal and purpose in life are dictated by something bigger than herself and her family (Spirit, God, Goddess, Buddha, Higher Power, Inner Wisdom – use whatever language resonates for you here), and NOT by family or loved ones.

The Priestess loves herself and others; she has deep connections, relationships and friendships yet, she is also a Whole Woman Unto Herself – she recognizes that even with deep connection to others, there is no true thing as “needing” someone else to be anything, do anything or play a certain role in one’s life. Her loyalty is based on love, mutual respect and an ability to see the highest potential in others. Her loyalty is NOT about drowning with others.

She understands fully that her life force is fueled by Spirit, and that the life force of those she loves isn’t fueled by her or her actions or non- actions, but also by Spirit. This is how the Priestess is so effective at leading others and making magic and transformation happen.

The Priestess’s Highest Expression:

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You are seen as a thought leader in your industry

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You are seen as a leader in your family and community

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You are excited about life & business and future possibilities

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You are well-prepared for major marketing moments

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You easily accomplish the goals that you set for yourself

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You set goals that are aligned with who you are

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When you surpass family records, you see this as an act of healing not just for yourself, but for your entire family and ancestral line

Suggested Actions to Reach Your Highest Expression:

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Keep a journal of your business goals and watch out for any places where you are keeping yourself small

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Make a list of the top 3 places in your business, coaching sessions or workshops that you’ve been sabotaging yourself, and create an action plan to turn each one around

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Bring Ritual into your daily life, your clients sessions or your retreats

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Visualize your clients or loved ones and watch their happy faces as you give their burdens back to them, letting them know that they can choose to put them down as you are

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Tune into the Sacred Depths Coach Training modules of The Energetics of the Coaching Relationship, Setting Aligned Boundaries and Protocals, How to Help Clients Get off the Wheel of Self-Sabotage, How to Navigatee Your Clients Through The Resistance Archetypes (especially the Victim), and How to Use Ritual as a Coaching Tool

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Create an altar to honor your ancestors, feel your ancestors loving and supporting you, and speak to them about the ways they want you to uplevel and move forward

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Connect with Spirit and Source daily

Sara’s Priestess Triumph Story

Sara’s father was an alcoholic and her mother died young of many health complications. When Sara – a healer – and I first started coaching together, it was clear that her work was so powerful, but she could never fully get it moving because she struggled with her own health problems (as a result of being overweight), and would stop herself from getting to the next level in her business everytime things began to move for her. Once we identified that her deepest core fear was the fear of surpassing loved ones, Sara was able to see how she continuously held herself back out of fear that she’d become disconnected from her family if she were to thrive and succeed. That awareness helped Sara access her Priestess – resulting in losing weight, feeling much more energized and alive, and allowing herself to be seen fully for the amazing work she was doing.

Meet Your

Mentor & Guide

Joanna Lindenbaum has coached & trained thousands around the world for 20 years. She is a powerhouse of human psyche insight, grounded intuition, and transformational techniques, which she generously shares with her students.

Joanna is the founder of the Applied Depth Practitioner Institute and the creator of the Sacred Depths Transformational Practitioner Training. She values integrity, being trauma-informed, and authenticity, and this shines through in all her work.

Because of the depth, quality, caring and extraordinary skills that Joanna brings to her work, her business runs mainly through happy clients that re-sign with her over and over again, and the referrals they send to her.

Still have questions?

You can speak with a member of Joanna’s team! Click the button below to schedule a time:

Schedule a Call

Or send us an email at info@applieddepthinstitute.com

The Core Energetics Assessment – Result C

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The Fear of Surpassing Loved Ones