This Coaching Standard Does More Harm Than Good

Over the summer, I had a private session with a client who had been in session with her healer the week before.

My client was telling me that her Healer had intuited that she needed to go to the beach for a week. It sounded like a good idea to my client because she trusts this healer’s intuition, yet she told him she was feeling stressed out and pressured because she just couldn’t figure out how to make a week away that month fit with her life.

Every few days the Healer would check in to encourage my client to make those beach plans and keep her accountable.

The confusion and the pressure were really causing frustration and fear.

When my client shared all of this with me, I could feel her confusion and the pain of it all, and I asked her:

“What is your inner wisdom telling you about going to the beach for week?”

She paused for a moment and then she said, “My inner wisdom is saying that it makes no sense to go to the beach for a week. I can go for a day here or there over next few weeks.”

So, I asked: “Does that feel like your Truth?”

And she answered Yes.

Then I asked: “How would it feel to go to the beach for a day here or there as you can?”

Her response: So much better.

Next, I shared the following with my client:

No matter how amazing and intuitive any coach or healer or anyone is….YOU are ultimately your best and true-est Authority. You know better than anyone, any professional, if something is aligned or misaligned for you. Trust yourself.

There is always more than one pathway or action to create the results you want. Going to the beach for a week may be ONE way to create what you want….but there are other ways. Don’t let anyone ever tell you there is just one way.

My client let out a palpable sigh of relief at all of this.

It was as if she was finally giving herself permission to follow her OWN desire, and to not make anyone else’s opinion or intuition about her more important than her own.

This is one of those pitfalls that coaches, practitioners and healers fall into if you’re not aware of it: Of course, as practitioners, we are all wise; I am positive of that. And when we have wisdom and when we are intuitive, we want to share all that’s coming through about our clients for our clients. And that can often be very helpful.

But (and this is a BIG “but”): we NEVER, EVER know better than our clients. Our job isn’t to tell them what to do. Our job is to hold space, create awareness, support clients to be seen and heard, connect them to their own wisdom, hold them accountable to their desires, work with their fear and resistance….and even OFFER suggestions.

But never dictate actions.
Never co-opt their own intuition or inner wisdom.
Never guru them or know better than them.

The best, most masterful coaches know EXACTLY how to lead clients to see and trust their OWN authority.

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