Yes, you heard me right: whether I’ve been working with my client for years….or even if we are just at the very beginning of our coaching relationship and I don’t know my client that well yet…first and foremost, I am always going to love & honor my client.
I know there are some folks out there that might be totally horrified at the suggestion to LOVE your clients (“Love isn’t for professional relationships….”), but I feel strongly that whether it’s a personal client, a corporate client, an in-person client, a virtual client….the core of the core of the core of a powerful relationship requires love.
When my client shares her struggles…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she shares her fears…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she shares her dreams and desires…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she shares her accomplishments…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she shares her judgments of herself…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she shares her judgments of others…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she gets confused…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she gets triggered by something I say…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she steps into Resistance to work we are doing…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she shows up as her “worst self”…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she shares an issue she might have with me…I’m going to love & honor her.
When she does something that at first annoys me or crosses a boundary (it happens!)…I’m going to love & honor her
Because when your client can feel your love and honoring, even in her most horrible moments…so much more is possible.
She’s more able to honor and love herself.
She’s more able to bounce back from disappointment.
She’s more able to make aligned decisions.
She’s more able to honor her boundaries.
She’s more able to find motivation & inspiration.
She’s more able to make peace with her Shadows.
She’s more able to take action.
(And by the way, loving on & honoring clients doesn’t mean that we stop stretching them, challenging them, calling them out on their stuff, revealing their Shadows to them. Masterful coaches know how to do BOTH at the same time.)
While this may seem like an easy task (because practitioners in the transformational industry are generally naturally loving individuals!), the truth is that many practitioners have trouble loving on and honoring their clients in a deep, full, and authentic way.
Because you might feel frustrated with her lack of forward movement.
Or you might feel attacked if she is in Resistance to the work.
Or you might feel envious of a step forward she has made.
When you’re doing “good” coaching, but aren’t totally loving and honoring your clients…they feel it. They know something is a little off. They’re not at invested.
This is why really doing your inner work consistently is SUCH AN IMPORTANT COMPONENT to being a stellar coach. It requires serious focus on what I call The Energetics of the Coaching Relationship.
Energetics of the Coaching Relationship include:
- Equalizing the Playing Field
- The Energetics of Being Seen, Heard and Loved
- Working on your own Triggers
- Trusting yourself as coach
- Seeing your client as Whole and Perfect
The more you work on the Energetics of the Coaching Relationship…the more able and open you are to totally love and honor your clients while also fiercely holding space for them to stretch, no matter what the situation.