Earlier this week I was on a coaching call. My client was sharing that she is about to launch a group program and while she was taking action to do outreach, she could tell she was feeling blocked and not really enthusiastic.
She went on to share that she thought maybe it was a fear of visibility. As I listened to my client speak and share about this fear of visibility, I knew in under two minutes that a fear of visibility was definitely NOT the block that was keeping her from being fully present and in her power for her launch.
I reflected to my client that I didn’t sense the fear she was talking about really held much energetic pull for her and asked if that resonated.
This stopped her in her tracks completely, and you could see her energy shift instantly, and almost see a lightbulb appear over her head!
She was excited and said, “You are soooooo right, Joanna! I can see that actually I’m pretty ok with visibility right now. That’s not the block. And, as you were just speaking, it hit me what the real block is……..”
And then my client proceeded, with inspiration and deep knowing, to articulate exactly what her block was, and much more. The rest of our session was incredibly productive and transformational because we were able to dive right into the actual block and work with it.
My client left the session happy and energized, totally poised to take action.
My Listening Skills were instrumental in the success of this session.
Had I not been using everything I know about how to listen deeply when a client is sharing (& there is a LOT that goes into this), I wouldn’t have caught that the fear of visibility was not actually alive for this client. And then we would have spent way too much time in the session unproductively exploring something that wasn’t actually at the root of her blocks.
I know that for those of us who are really committed to going deep with our clients, and really helping them create results, we are enamored by the fancy techniques….working with fear, working with Shadow, working with resistance (& don’t get me wrong! I LOVE advanced somatic techniques, and I LOVE training on them).
But the truth is that none of the fancy techniques are effective without solid Listening skills.
And also, there is so much transformation you can be activating with clients even without the fancy techniques….but only if you’re masterful (with all the nuances) at foundational skills like Deep Listening.
When you have really nuanced, really masterful listening skills, you are able to take your client work to a whole new level:
- Stop wasting time in session
- Start moving clients towards breakthroughs much more quickly
- Support clients towards action way more effectively
- Get to the root cause behind blocks and obstacles in minutes
- Hear truths that even your client hasn’t even realized yet
- Strategize on the best way forward without extra trial and error
- Have your client feel so deeply seen and heard that they are amazed at how well you understand them
Here’s the other thing – Deep Listening Skills are also essential for marketing effectively and having successful sales conversations.
You need to be able to listen 3 layers beneath the surface to prospects in order to help them make empowered decisions about working with you.
And you need to be able to take all you’ve gathered from your listening into your marketing copy.
Whether you are a completely new coach….or whether you’ve been coaching for decades…please do not underestimate the power of honing your Listening Skills so that they are nuanced and deep and actually help you hear all the unspoken things in a conversation, all the hidden gems buried under layers.
Deep Listening is a lifelong skill (for work, for personal relationships) to be committed to.
